You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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