It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
