3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
