so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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