; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I look better un-naked...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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