I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
