so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
