Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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