I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do herpes really smell.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
