Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
should my penis look like a turkey
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
