And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize