Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize