My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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