My hand turned me down
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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