How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
