oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
