It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He passed out mid-signature
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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