i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
