I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
