ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
only you would photoshop your dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
