Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
