Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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