absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
