How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
