It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
