even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
