Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
