wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
