I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
