his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize