We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
