I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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