I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
