I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
