I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
