quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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