I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
