Bisexual people are plain selfish.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
