I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
