Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
