I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
