I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
