I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
