dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dick very happy bro
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
