I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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