I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize