Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
