Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
