lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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