Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
