The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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