i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
