she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
