Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize