We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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