i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
