I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
its not stalking. its research.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would ride that face into the sunset
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
