I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
