sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
