so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize