thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
