apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize